


.5

by theparadoxic



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Developing Relationship, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 13:10:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2026329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theparadoxic/pseuds/theparadoxic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They promised to not fall in love with each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	.5

**Author's Note:**

> This is like that movie that you may or may not have watched before. Or that other movie with the singer and the jock. Or the other one with the prostitute and the bachelor. Or maybe just a combination of all those movies. (Or none at all.)

Day 2

If he were honest, Ryan was actually very attractive.

Gavin had this idea that people who spent the majority of their time on computers, calculus and theater would never have time to actually care about what they look like. And he was usually right. Except this time. Except when Ryan came along.

Ryan didn’t look like the type to take 20 minutes just to get his hair perfectly waved, or the type to look at himself in the mirror until he couldn’t recognize his own self. But there was something about the blue pair of eyes, the sandy head of hair and just the broad shoulders that made Gavin admit that his prejudice about the guy was utterly and completely wrong.

“Is there a problem?” Ryan asked from his side of the room.

"No."

Yes, a big problem.

And his name was Ryan.

 

Day 4

“I'm hungry.” He murmured to himself, trailing off at the last few syllables. Ryan didn’t seem like he was interested, busy with his book. As usual.

Gavin expected to end up with a fellow freshman, not a senior. He expected to room with somebody from his collegeor somebody he met from orientation. It was unusual that a senior had an entire room all for himself.

“If you’re hungry, we can grab a bite across the street.”

He didn't think Ryan was paying attention. "Uh. That’d be nice, yeah.”

"I hope you're not vegan." Ryan smiled up at him, all charming and handsome and just... unfair.

Gavin expected to end up with a fellow freshman but he sure as hell wasn't complaining about this set-up either.

 

Day 7

"You bring girls over a lot, Ryan?" Gavin didn't know why he asked. Maybe it had something to do with how snug Ryan's body looked in that stupid tight shirt.

Ryan was in the middle of reading something but he looked up momentarily, locked eyes with Gavin, a shy little smile on his face, "Nah. Not my thing."

"Somewhere else, then?"

"No." An eyebrow quirked upwards. Ryan shrugged, "It's not my thing, Gavin."

"What do you mean not your thing?"

"I just... They're not my cup of tea. Girls, I mean."

"Oh."

The silence was deafening, and it was awkward, and god damn it. Gavin wanted to throw himself out the window. He wanted to say something to tell Ryan he wasn't judging him or anything of the sort.

"Look, Gavin, you can start packing your things now if you want to." There was a chuckle as Ryan said it but the implication was clear. Ryan was a little bit unnerved by the conversation.

Gavin composed himself, tried to not let his voice crack, "Why would I do that?"

"'Cause..." Ryan shrugged. He looked at Gavin like the answer was obvious but there was no reply. Ryan sighed. "It isn't exactly a viable choice for most men to room with a gay theater major. Wasn't that obvious when you found out I was a senior and had no roommate?" Ryan was still smiling. If he was trying to mask the anxiety, he was succeeding.

Gavin didn't quite understand that, though. He wanted to say it wasn't obvious at all. If anything, Ryan was the epitome of masculine when he first laid eyes on him.

But of course, Gavin would never say that out loud.

"Ryan, it's fine. I'm not that kind of person."

Ryan quirked a curious eyebrow. He smiled although the insecurity was still evident in his tone, "Alright. If you say so."

 

Day 12

Gavin should have let it all go.

But his brain and mouth had little filter, if any at all.

"When was the last time you shagged, Ryan?"

There was audible choking from the other side of the room. Ryan quickly downed his coke, cheeks flushed. "A  _long_  time ago." There was that nervous little chuckle again.

"How long ago was that?"

This time, Ryan stopped being nervous. He looked at Gavin straight in the eyes before scoffing, his features challenging, "Why? You interested?"

And that shouldn't have made Gavin recoil but it did.

Gavin really should have just let it all go.

 

Day 13

Gavin told Ryan he was interested.

It was a little awkward, half-joking in case Ryan laughed at him.

Which Ryan did for a solid couple of seconds.

Ryan didn't say anything in return. He just shook his head, the smile on his face not faltering.

 

Day 16

"I was serious, you know." Gavin broke the silence in their dorm. They were both doing term papers that night, which seemed suddenly so uninteresting when tension filled the air. "Still am, Ryan."

"You don't know what you're saying, Gavin. Trust me." Ryan said, not even looking up from his laptop.

"When did you last get laid?" Why was he starting this again?

"Why is my sexual timeline so interesting to you?" There was the slightest hint of irritation creeping up his voice.

Gavin was unfazed. He dropped his pencil, walked over to where Ryan was. Ryan looked up at him, indifferent.

Ryan shook his head. "You don't know what you're talking about."

 

Day 19

"Are you never going to drop this, Gavin?" Ryan was on his bed, playing a math game on his phone.

Gavin was changing out of his jeans at the other side of the room. He laughed. "You worked up, Ryan?" He put his boxers and an old slogan shirt on before plopping down the mattress. Ryan only grunted in response, didn't even look up at him. "It's not like I'm asking you to marry me or anything."

That was when Ryan looked over at him. "I wouldn't think someone like you is capable of doing that, if I were honest."

"What, marrying someone?"

"Yeah. You just don't seem like the romantic type."

Gavin stopped for a second, thinking it over. He also liked seeing the hint of curiosity and panic slowly take over Ryan's face. "You're right. I'm not."

 

Day 20

“Why are you so against it anyway?”

Ryan groaned. He rolled his eyes and dropped his pencil, running his fingers against his hair.

“Come on, Ryan. It’s not like you don’t want to get laid. Don’t lie, you mong.”

He was right, though. Ryan  _did_  want to get laid. His dry streak has been going for so long, he couldn’t even remember when he last had sex. "I do, but..."

Gavin was quick to raise an eyebrow. "But what?"

Ryan's tone was more hushed then. "I’m not really into the stuff that happens  _after_ the sex, you know. It makes me uncomfortable.”

“What, like mornings after?”

Ryan shrugged.

"That's it?" Incredulous, Gavin laughed. "That's all the reason you had for saying 'no' all this time? You potentially could have had sex for what, 2 or 3 weeks now, but you didn't want to do it because you have some sort of a commitment issue?"

"Hey, it's not a laughing matter--"

"I told you I'm not the romantic type, Ryan."

That one statement brought silence between them. Suddenly, everything seemed so simple.

 

Day 20.5

Their little conversation ended with Ryan not having anything else to say, obviously overtaken by Gavin's poor but tempting logic.

Gavin straddled him when silence dawned upon them both, and when Ryan didn't protest, Gavin knew the answer was finally a 'yes'.

 

Day 21

Ryan and Gavin agreed to kiss anywhere but on the lips.

It was a strict rule, something that if violated, would mark the end of their little agreement.

"If you kiss me on the lips, you lose."

"Not if you kiss me first."

"Like that's ever gonna happen."

And then he shut him up by pinning him on the bed again, their shared laughter drowned by the collective moaning.

 

Day 24

They did it in the bathroom.

Ryan found out Gavin had a thing for penetration while standing up.

He made a mental note to shower with him more often.

 

Day 27

Gavin came home with some food for Ryan.

"There has got to be a catch somewhere if you’re not letting me pay you back for this." Ryan smiled as he took a slice of pizza. "Are you going to top tonight, is that it?"

The laughter that came from Gavin's mouth was unbelievably loud. Ryan winced when he saw the half-chewed pasta in the younger's mouth. "I might now. Thanks for the suggestion, Ryan."

Ryan didn't like the sound of that, but he wasn't closing off the possibility of being a bottom either.

 

Day 29

Ryan asked Gavin to attend one of his classes. Gavin was very intimidated to sit in a class full of seniors - some were even in their postgraduate studies already - seniors whose specialty was applied mathematics.

When Gavin opted to stand up and leave in the middle of Professor Heyman's lecture, Ryan took his hand and leaned in to whisper, "Just stay here. It's okay."

Gavin responded with a low voice, "But I feel so out of place."

"Don't be." Ryan had to lean back to his chair and pretend he was solving an equation when he caught his professor eying them.

There was a slight tug of his hand from Gavin.

Ryan only tightened his hold and intertwined their fingers in reply.

 

Day 29.5

Ryan's class ended at 8:30 in the evening.

Gavin was half-asleep throughout the entire session.

But immediately he was 100% awake when Ryan proposed they do something before leaving the vicinity.

Needless to say, some desks were dirty and out of place by the time they exited the classroom.

 

Day 33

"Promise that you won't fall in love with me." Ryan sternly said as he touched Gavin underneath him. Gavin was squirming, the pads of his fingers digging against Ryan's back.

"I would never," was Gavin's only response. It came out as a low moan, his breathing heavy against the crook of Ryan's neck.

 

Day 37

A neighbor knocked violently on them one night.

“Keep it down, Haywood!” He bellowed, clearly unhappy. Probably Geoff, the guy with tattoos as arms. “You and your girlfriend should shut the fuck up unless you want to be kicked out of this unit.”

Ryan was worried, so nervous upon hearing that, but he couldn’t stop himself from laughing when Gavin – who was giggling underneath him, doing things to Ryan’s member still inside his hole – started cursing unbelievably at being coined his ‘girlfriend’.

When the banging on the door finally went away, Ryan bopped their noses together and put the sheets over their heads. “I guess you’re my girlfriend now.”

Gavin was hysterical at that point.

Ryan hasn’t heard something so melodious in such a long time.

 

Day 41

“Are you happy?”

They were sharing a bed again. They weren’t even having sex. It’s been happening frequently over the past weeks. Somehow they both realized that cold beds were avoidable, considering their arrangements.

“Yeah, I’m pretty happy.” Ryan turned to look at Gavin. He smiled. “My dick’s pretty happy too, I’ll tell you that.” His fingers aimlessly traced patterns over Gavin’s bare shoulder.

Gavin chuckled, scooted closer until there was literally no space left in-between them.

 

Day 43

Spooning wasn’t the best thing to wake up to when Gavin realized he was late for class. There was something hard behind him, poking his ass and sending him some stupid urges that he knew he couldn’t afford to satiate.

He cursed his way out of bed, ignoring Ryan’s calls for him to stay.

 

Day 43.5

Gavin thought it would be funny to get back at the older man that night.

Technically, Ryan really didn’t do anything to make him upset earlier that day. It was biologically natural to have morning wood. But still, Gavin wasn’t happy that Ryan looked so inviting and delicious with his bare chest, the light stubble and his hair wildly sticking out in different directions, his voice raspy and undone. Nope, Gavin wasn’t at all happy about the recollection of that image.

So when he reached the dorm to find Ryan already fast asleep, he did not even hesitate for a second before crawling under his sheets.

Ryan groaned when he felt something wet against his groin. He couldn’t quite focus his vision but he was pretty sure his body was catching temperature all of a sudden. Before he knew it though, his hips were responding, and he lifted the covers to see Gavin’s head bobbing up and down on his dick.

He smirked, not even planning on doing anything to stop him. Because honestly, why would he? “Welcome back, Gav.”

 

Day 47

It was Gavin’s turn to bring Ryan to one of his classes.

Ryan finally understood Gavin’s feelings when he was sitting in Professor Heyman’s class, because in the room, it was crystal clear how Ryan did not belong in the pack. The most obvious reason, Gavin said, was that he’s physically more developed than the everyone else in that room.

“You like that, don’t you?” Ryan whispered. Gavin wiggled his eyebrows in response.

Gavin was glad that unlike him, Ryan had a better attention span. Ryan actually listened to the lecture and avoided distracting the professor by annoying Gavin.

“That went quite well, didn’t it?” Gavin said when the bell rang.

“Actually, yeah. Your classes spiked some interesting—”

Ryan was cut off by the professor’s stern voice. “Mr Free?”

“Yes, Mr Burns?” Gavin started walking over to him, some papers from his notebook falling.

Ryan took the liberty to pick the pieces up, shaking his head at how careless Gavin was. When he looked up, he saw Gavin having a laugh with the professor. It was amusing at first, endearing the second time; and then it was just suddenly unpleasant for Ryan when the professor put a hand around Gavin’s shoulder.

They were still laughing. Nothing too suspicious, really. Like friends having a good time.

But for some reason, Ryan saw differently. He didn’t like it and he wanted to just look away, run back to the dorm and lock his door on Gavin.

 

Day 50

“What’s gotten into you?” Gavin asked, panic-stricken. “You’ve been so mingy, Ryan.”

“I’m not mingy.” Ryan spat in defense. He didn’t look at Gavin. His thesis was more interesting at the moment.

“Yes, you are!”

“Stop saying that!” Ryan shut his book.

Gavin, startled, carefully asked again. “What is going on?”

Ryan breathed out heavily. There was a beat of silence between them before he stood up and walked over to Gavin.

“Ryan.”

Ryan didn’t respond, his gaze so intense against Gavin’s. And then he leaned forward, his lips landed so dangerously close the other’s lips, pressed so harshly and possessively against the skin next to it, trailing kisses along the boy’s jaw down to his neck.

“R-Ryan… What’s happening?”

The said man did not respond. Couldn’t find the right words to do so. He just continued worshipping Gavin, mouthing and groping everywhere he could.

Gavin stopped asking questions.

 

Day 51

Ryan found out that Professor Burns asked Gavin out for dinner one night.

He felt awful when he heard it from Gavin. But he didn’t stop the younger man from walking out their room in a nice little get-up, all smiles and giggles as he bid, “Don’t wait up!”

 

Day 63

They stopped having sex for almost two weeks.

When Gavin asked Ryan for the sudden change of course, the latter only kept saying, “I’m just not in the mood.”

And then Gavin left it at that, attended to his phone instead.

Ryan knew he was still in touch with that professor.

But he didn’t want to dig more into it.

He just wasn’t in the mood.

 

Day 70

It was when Gavin flew to England that Ryan realized he was being immature.

So after a week, upon Gavin’s return, Ryan did not waste any time cornering him against the door. His hands gripped Gavin’s sides, face buried against Gavin’s neck, quickly bruised by Ryan’s mouth.

“Wow, you must’ve missed me.” Gavin said in-between bated breaths, shudders running up and down his spine. Ryan only hummed in affirmation, before he pulled him close and dumped him on the bed.

Yeah, Ryan could say he missed Gavin.

A lot.

 

Day 73

Ryan took care of Gavin when he got sick.

Gavin kept saying Ryan should go to class instead.

“You can’t possibly risk finishing on time just because some bloke caught a fever in the middle of the term.”

Ryan knew Gavin was right.

But Ryan wasn’t going anywhere.

 

Day 76

They cuddled.

It felt nice, Gavin said.

(Fantastic, Ryan thought.)

 

Day 77

“We might as well discard the other bed.” Gavin said one Saturday morning. “Last night was pretty amazing, by the way.” He sat up, rolled onto his stomach and faced Ryan. The older man was stretching, his balled fists scratching an eye. Gavin thought he looked adorable.

“What’s so funny?” Ryan said upon seeing Gavin ogling him with a ridiculous smile on his face.

“What?”

“You were smiling at me with that giggly little smile of yours.”

“Am I not allowed to do that?”

“Not without my permission, no.”

“Ryan, you—”

Gavin didn't get to finish his sentence when Ryan started attacking his neck.

 

Day 85

On midterm week, Ryan was impossible to talk to. Gavin was a little annoyed but he was more understanding than anything.

It was while Ryan was printing out some drafts for his thesis that it dawned upon him, that Ryan was graduating in less than 3 months.

Gavin was happy for him, happy that all the hard work he's seen Ryan do finally be rewarded.

When he went to bed that night however, something inside him felt like it was festering.

 

Day 87

"Can you just..." Gavin was loitering around Ryan for what seemed like eons. Ryan was so focused on his work, he hasn't looked up until that one moment he felt Gavin's wrists lock in front of his chest. The younger boy's chin was perfectly rested on Ryan's shoulder. When Ryan stopped typing, Gavin did not waste any more time grabbing the chance to pounce at it. "Ryan, you need to loosen up a bit."

There was a heavy sigh, Ryan turning to his side to meet Gavin's gaze. Gavin pressed closer, tightly hugging him from behind.

"You know, Gavin," Ryan began, "your persistence is really outstanding."

"Oh?"

"I disregarded you for so long, hoping you'd just give up and stop bothering me. Because you know, I really don't have a lot of free time lately. The pressure's too much." When Gavin laughed, Ryan did too. "But you're just so fucking stubborn. You're like a cat trying to seduce his master by walking in circles around his leg."

"I could be a cat, I mean if you wanted me to be." Gavin hadn't let go. He liked the warmth that radiated off their pseudo-embrace.

"Oh, you wouldn't want me to be your master." Ryan's tone turned mischievous, a little bit dangerous.

That was Gavin's cue to look at him in the eyes again. He asked with a voice more neutral than he thought he'd let out, "Wouldn't I? Are you not my master yet? After all this time?"

Ryan could only shrug and smirk. He raised an eyebrow in question.

"Ryan, with all that dominating in bed you've been doing, I can vouch for the fact that you definitely have been my master for months now."

"Hmm." He was enjoying the little game with Gavin, that he couldn’t deny. "I'm not quite sure if I've really sent that message through just yet."

Gavin knew where that statement was heading off to, because Ryan then stood and turned to him, pulled him roughly by the hips, their lips so close they could almost taste each other.

The temptation to kiss him was too much.

But he didn't do it.

The challenge remained, and he didn't want to be the one to violate their rule.

Their eyes were locked, lingering gazes and bodies so tense with frustration.

Ryan bit his lower lip, too nervous to move. He waited for Gavin to do something,  _anything_.

The younger only smirked, "I know you want to kiss me."

"You wish," Ryan scoffed.

But they stiffened when the tension upped in tenfold, so thick it suffocated them both.

"Come on, Ryan. Just do it." The amount of strength it took Gavin to not grin was immeasurable. He tried to mask his own emotions because he knew Ryan would just break him and win if he let the other see through his thoughts. "Just do it, Ryan. Just kiss me."

Ryan gulped audibly but did not dare move an inch.

He was too afraid to do anything at that point.

 

Day 88

Gavin kissed him first.

 

Day 88.5

Ryan kissed him back.

 

Day 90

They didn't speak about the kiss, neither about the rule that they ridiculously just violated.

They continued to have sex like usual, like a sacred vow has not just been broken.

 

Day 93

"Fuck, fuck,  _fuck_." Gavin cursed as Ryan pounded into him that night. His hands gripped the headboard so tight, he was sure they were already broken if he had enough fucks to actually give. "Faster-- right there."

Ryan was grunting, panting, his hips snapping at each thrust. Gavin's own were marked violently, almost as if exhibiting the illusion that Ryan owned him. "Gavin," he moaned, spreading the younger’s legs apart just a little bit more before hitting particularly hard, coming.

The profanities kept spilling from Gavin's mouth, words that he reserved exclusively for whenever Ryan got too intense, until he was abruptly hushed by the other’s lips.

There was tongue involved, exploring Gavin, who did not hesitate to do the same. Not an ounce of doubt rested in him when he reciprocated Ryan's abuse on his mouth.

 

Day 95  
  
"Do you still remember your promise?" Ryan's fingers were caressing Gavin's cheek, their room completely dim save for the one lamp at the far end of Ryan's work desk. Gavin's face was perfectly contoured by the shadows, and Ryan felt something inside him flutter at the sight.

"That I can't ever fall in love with you?" Gavin's gaze was tender, almost vulnerable, afraid.

"Yeah." Ryan wanted to tell Gavin it was a stupid promise. He wanted to take it back.

But then Gavin answered the unspoken statement, "Don't worry, I would never."

"Okay." The older smiled but he knew it was obvious that he was the least enthusiastic about it.

 

Day 99

On Ryan's birthday, Gavin prepared cake.

"I made it!" He said with a proud face.

"No, you didn't!" Ryan chuckled, distrusting.

"Well, yeah, I didn't. I got it for you though. That counts as something, right?"

Ryan pulled him close and kissed him on the lips. Gavin smiled against it.

"Thank you, Gavin."

Before Ryan could completely pull away, Gavin leaned in again to kiss him.

 

Day 102

Ryan hasn't been sleeping in the dorm frequently because of his field work.

Gavin understood the situation, that Ryan had to gather first-hand data for his thesis.

Every night, Gavin would wait for Ryan to come back. But either he would drift off to sleep or wake up in the morning to find that Ryan's already returned and left again.

He didn't want to admit it but Gavin really felt lonely without him.

 

Day 105

"Hi Gavin!" Ryan cheerfully said when he came through the door. "My research's finally done."

Gavin felt his heart skip a beat.

Ryan walked over to where he sat, looked at him in the eyes before pressing their lips together, "I missed you."

Make that a hundred beats.

 

Day 106

Gavin pleasured Ryan like he has never done before, to the point that Ryan was the one flat on his back that night, writhing, sweating and pleading with sharp cusses.

 

Day 110

"What do you want for Christmas?"

He wanted to say, 'you', but he knew he was going to get hit if he did.

"Anything would be fine."

 

Day 112

Back home with his family, festive and giving, he really wished he had told him about his Christmas gift preference.

 

Day 116

On Christmas morning, all he could think about was the university.

His dormitory, to be more specific. His roommate, if he were honest.

Everything had to do with him nowadays. He was a little concerned.

 

Day 123

On new year’s day, he sent him a text that simply said, “Happy new year. When do you go back to the dorm?”

To which he was answered with, “I see you want to start the year with a ‘bang’. Literally.”

 

Day 129

Ryan was more than happy when he saw Gavin again at the dorm.

The younger looked so cute with his sweater, the colorful socks adding to the endearing image that Ryan couldn’t tear his eyes away from.

“Did you get me anything for Christmas?” Gavin said while chewing a granola bar.

“Actually, I did.” Ryan walked over to his backpack, pulled out a book and handed it to Gavin with a proud smile.

“The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes?” Gavin asked, genuinely confused. “Why’d you give me a book?”

“Well,” Ryan sat beside him on the bed. “You’re welcome, Gavin.”

Gavin laughed at that, hitting Ryan on the arm. “No, I meant—”

“It’s my old copy. I enjoyed it a lot.” Ryan slid a little closer to Gavin. The room wasn’t so cold anymore. “I didn’t really think about whether or not you’ll like it, I just figured I could give you something from my shelf that isn’t about maths or PCs.”

“I don’t read a lot, you know that.” There was a gentle smile on Gavin’s face as he smoothed his fingers along the wrinkled cover. “But thanks, Ryan.”

“I’m sorry if I’m pushing you into forced enjoyment.”

“Nah, maybe I’ll read it over summer break or something.”

Ryan’s heart sank at that. He actually wished Gavin wasn’t serious about putting it off until then. “Did  _you_  get me anything?”

“No.” Gavin replied instantly, his voice caught between embarrassment and amusement. He didn’t get Ryan anything because he didn’t think Ryan would’ve gotten him anything.

A playful pout and Ryan sighed, “Aw. Okay.”

Gavin moved even closer then, their bodies brushing against one another. When he dove in for a peck, Ryan smiled. It soon turned into a long kiss, chaste and soft and heartwarming.

“That’s the only thing I have for you.”

Ryan wasn't going to complain.

 

Day 131

For some reason, neither of them found the cold temperature to be an opportunity to keep each other warm.

On the contrary, they've kept a safe distance from each other ever since they got back from the holidays.

They used their own beds on a regular basis, slept with nothing but an exchange of amiable smiles and "good night"s.

They didn't get too close any more. They managed to keep a safe distance between them.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that every time they would touch, the room would feel like it was on fire.

 

Day 132

"You mentioned one time you had commitment issues." It wasn't a question, didn't sound demanding or offensive. It randomly popped up in Gavin's head. He noticed Ryan flinch.

"I did?" The older looked genuinely confused. "When did I mention that?"

"A couple of months after we first had sex." Gavin wouldn't admit it to Ryan but he remembered getting into that topic one night when it crossed his mind what it would have been like if Ryan was more than just a fuck buddy. It wasn't exactly ideal to let Ryan know about that idea; troublesome to freak him out.

"Ah, well." Ryan shrugged. He avoided eye contact with Gavin and was more than thankful when the other didn't push forth into the conversation.

 

Day 136

Ryan couldn't sleep.

He turned to see an empty bed at the other side of the room.

Gavin had been on location filming something for class. Probably somewhere in South America, dealing with his heavy and ridiculously expensive cameras.

He wasn't used to the silence. Usually, he'd be asleep just after a minute or two of plopping down his bed, knowing that Gavin wouldn't go anywhere even if he didn't keep an eye out for the younger.

No matter how hard he tried, Ryan couldn't stop tossing and turning, tempted to actually contact Gavin and ask him what he was up to, when was he coming home. Any fucking excuse to just know he was alive and well, really.

Ryan wondered if Gavin went through the same thing when he went out for his field work weeks ago.

 

Day 140

Gavin was suffocating but he couldn't stop smiling either. "R-Ryan, wait--" Yet again, he was cut off when Ryan dipped in again to kiss him.

"Fuck," Ryan hissed when he pulled away, resting his face still rather closely against Gavin's. There was a throbbing pain in his chest, mostly from the excitement of seeing Gavin again after what felt like more than just a week. "Gavin." He kissed him again, arms possessive around Gavin's waist. When he felt the other wrap his arms over and around his neck, Ryan couldn't help but smile, and kiss him a little harder.

 

Day 140.5

After so long, they had sex again.

 

Day 141

And again.

 

Day 142

And again.

 

Day 143

That night, he couldn't help thinking that they might have stopped having sex a long time ago.

Maybe, just maybe, they were 'making love' at that point.

But he wasn't going to say it out loud.

There was just no way.

 

Day 147

"I'm graduating in a less than 2 weeks." Ryan looked up from his book to see Gavin's reaction. He wasn't disappointed upon seeing the younger force a smile.

Amid the discouraged expression, Gavin managed to coolly reply, "I know."

"You gonna miss me, Gavin?"

Gavin scoffed. (Nervously, Ryan noted.) "Don't be ridiculous."

Ryan smirked, "That's not a 'yes' but that isn't exactly a 'no' either."

"Yeah, well."

"Just tell me." He knew he was asking for it, that it was a blind spot to hit, but he couldn't resist. Ryan suddenly felt so brave about asking stupid, semi-prohibited questions to Gavin. "Are you gonna miss me or not?"

There was a rather intimidating glare from the other side of the room. Gavin's cheeks were flushed red, "Oh, shut it."

"See, still not an answer." At that point, Ryan couldn't help standing up. He started walking over to Gavin's bed, noting that the other tensed up all of a sudden. Ryan looked at him directly in the eyes, "Are you going to miss me, Gavin?" The smile on his face was gone. The grip on Gavin's sheets were violent, anxiety emanating from the gesture.

An audible gulp and Gavin, for a second hesitant, slowly nodded. "Of course I'm going to miss you."

Ryan landed a soft palm along Gavin's jaw. He cocked his head slightly on the side, "Me too."

Gavin smiled sadly as Ryan did.

 

Day 150

One night, Gavin decided to read the book Ryan gave him for Christmas.

Sherlock Holmes was familiar for him already, but it didn't stop him from giving it a go altogether. Maybe it had something to do with him being unable to sleep, or maybe there was something else that just gnawed at his senses that led him to open the book.

Whatever it was, Gavin had to save the thought for later.

Because on the third leaf of the page there was a post-it with Ryan's handwriting on it.

Gavin was positive he wasn't going to get any decent sleep that night.

 

Day 150.5

The post-it simply said, "How do you feel about broken promises? Specifically ones that I initiated?"

 

Day 155

Gavin didn't speak about the post-it, thinking about how he could have misinterpreted the context of it all. He acted like usual around Ryan, although the other noticed something different since the other morning.

"Gavin, you seem... cheeky lately."

Gavin suppressed a giggle, "Cheeky? What do you mean, 'cheeky'?"

"Like you know something funny but you wouldn't share the joke with me."

"What? No. That's stupid, Ryan." There were giggles left and right as he reasoned it out. That almost gave everything away. "It's nothing, it's nothing."

"See? You know something that you know I would also be interested in, but you don't want to tell me what it is."

That was because every second that Gavin let the situation sink into his system, a colossal amount of dread would suddenly dry his throat.

He wasn't planning on dying on his first year of university, especially not because of some stupidly charming roommate.

 

Day 157

"Can I go to your graduation ceremony?"

"Of course, Gavin. You're definitely invited."

 

Day 159

When Ryan stepped up the podium and started delivering his speech, Gavin was in complete awe.

One reason was that he's never seen Ryan wear anything other than a boring shirt and baggy jeans.

The bigger reason was because he had no clue Ryan was the class valedictorian.

Gavin knew Ryan was smart, just not exceedingly so. It was never so overt, was the thing.

"And to Gavin," Ryan pulled him back into the reality of the situation. Gavin looked up and smiled when he saw Ryan smiling towards his direction. "For making me realize not every promise has to be sacredly kept, and that every fear would eventually find its finish line."

There were no other words that revealed details, no context displayed to elaborate Ryan's words.

Gavin did not need any of those, for he completely understood what he just heard.

Every single thing.

 

Day 160

"I broke that stupid promise," he began softly, grinning from ear to ear, "I'm sorry."

He shushed him with a peck on the lips, pulled him closer against him, "I'm not."

 

Day 160.5

On the final night of their stay, every rustle of the sheets, every touch and every kiss, an inaudible, "I love you," could be heard. It was quiet enough that it was intimate, but so loud that it deafened them both, drowned them into the feelings that had been bottled in for so long, both Gavin and Ryan didn't find it necessary to be spoken of anymore.


End file.
